10. Mattresses are more comfortable with a stack of ones underneath them. Have you ever slept on a mattress with no money under it? Ugh.
9. I do not ever want to retire. Ever. Working gives me time away from my wife, ya know?
8. Did you SEE my new flat-screen? The Apprentice looks fantastic doesn’t it? Oh, and sorry you have to sit on the floor, we cannot afford chairs yet.
7. Though the idea of saving sounds nice, I am not comfortable with allowing the bank to hold all my money in their drawers. I mean, what if they get robbed or something? Then all my money is gone!
6. If I lost my job, I am sure I could get another one in like a day or so. McDonald’s is always hiring.
5. The ability to buy a house someday is overrated. Mowing one’s own yard is for the birds. I would rather rent forever, own nothing, and listen to my 312 neighbors through the walls. Nothing like arguments in the middle of the night or strangers burning down the place while you are sleeping!
4. I like to count on only myself to make money. If I start depending on the bank to compound my interest, who will I have to depend on next to give me free money?
3. There is nothing like the feeling of walking around with every dollar I own in my wallet. It makes me feel like an incredibly rich man!
2. I could die today, so why save for tomorrow? People that save money are not living for today, they are living for the future, and that makes no sense to me. I might not even be here tomorrow! If I run out of money then, I will figure it out. No worries!
And the number one reason to not have a savings account is….
1. If my car breaks down, I have my credit cards, you know? Why put away money for such stupid things like emergencies or whatever when I can just spend it on something cool today?